You are listening to the Less Drama More Mama podcast, episode 382: Don’t Let Winter Break Break You, Part One
This is Less Drama More Mama, the podcast for moms who want to feel calm, in control, and confident about how to handle anything life throws their way. If you’re ready to go from feeling frazzled and disrespected to feeling calm and connected, this is the podcast for you. I’m your host, Pam Howard.
Hey, Mama! Welcome to today’s episode. It’s December 2025 and winter break is almost upon us. If you’re feeling a little bit of dread, some anxiety, or you’re exhausted just thinking about it, you’re not alone. Today we’re talking about what goes on in your brain and body when school’s out, everyone’s home, and the structure you rely on disappears. And then in next week’s episode, part 2, we’re gonna talk about practical strategies to keep you sane during this year’s school vacation, so be sure to tune in next week as well.
Before we dive in, I want to mention that now is an excellent time to join Damn Good Mama, my 6-month group coaching program where we work on regulating your nervous system, breaking reactive patterns, and helping you connect more with yourself and your kids. When you join now, you get the entire month of December for free. That means you get immediate support for getting through this winter break, you’ll get to join us for our end-of-the-year review and goal setting session, plus you’ll have support from me and a community of other amazing moms from January through June, so that when summer break rolls around, you’ll actually look forward to it. If that sounds awesome to you, book your free 30-minute call with me to learn more and make sure it’s a good fit by going to lessdramamoremama.com/chat
Now, you might be telling yourself that you should be excited about this upcoming winter break and the time you’ll be spending with your kids. You might be comparing yourself to other moms who seem thrilled about weeks of constant togetherness, while you’re just trying to survive one day at a time. That’s okay. It’s not that you’re ungrateful or that you don’t love your kids. Your nervous system relies on certain rhythms and patterns to feel safe. And when those aren’t there, it gets overwhelmed and everything seems harder. Understanding this helps you stop personalizing your reactions and start seeing them for what they are: your body trying to protect you. For a lot of moms, this begins even before break officially starts. You’re lying in bed thinking about lunches you won’t have to pack, but instead of feeling relieved, your chest feels tight because you know the trade-off is being “on” 24/7 with nowhere to hide.
Think about your regular school routine. You know when you’ll have time to yourself. You know when you need to be where. Your body has learned the flow of those days. And even when they’re hard, there’s a predictability to them, which helps your nervous system stay regulated. When winter break hits, suddenly you don’t know what any given moment is gonna demand of you.
I remember when my kids were young, waking up with such anxiety, thinking, “What am I going to do with them today?” “What if something happens that I feel unprepared to handle?” “What if I can’t get my work done?” “Will they entertain themselves, or will they need me constantly?” “Will they get along or will I be refereeing fights all day?” Can you relate? This is why we feel on edge even when nothing’s actively going wrong. Like, the kids are playing quietly in the other room and instead of relaxing and enjoying the peacefulness, we’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. We’re waiting for someone to get hurt or start screaming or come tell us that they’re bored. Our bodies are working overtime trying to predict and prepare for what’s coming, and they can’t.
Now add in the sibling dynamics. When they’re together all day, every day, the conflict often ramps up. And every time they start fighting, your nervous system gets activated. You hear, “Mom! He took my toy!” and your heart rate jumps. Someone starts crying because someone else said something mean, and your jaw tightens. You might feel heat rush through your chest, your stomach drop, or your breath get shallow. And sometimes, it only takes a split second for your body to shift into the same protective pattern you learned when you were little. Maybe you snap because anger feels safer than vulnerability. Maybe you fawn because it felt like it was your job to keep the peace in your family growing up. Or you check out completely because that was the only way to get through conflict in your home. These patterns show up fast because your nervous system learned them years before you ever became a mom. Your body is trying to keep you safe using the strategies that worked back then. And then, your mind piles on all the stories about how things are supposed to go. For example, you might tell yourself that a good mom would plan more activities. That you should be making fun memories. That they should be reading more or learning something or at least not staring at screens all day. You watch other moms on social media doing craft projects and baking cookies and taking their kids to holiday events, and you wonder why you can’t just be like that. It can be especially painful if part of you remembers being a kid who wanted a certain kind of holiday, too, and you remember wishing the adults around you were calmer, or kinder, or more available. So now you carry this pressure to give your kids everything you didn’t have, even if it costs you your sanity.
These stories create so much pressure and tension, which makes it harder to be present with what’s actually in front of you. What are you telling yourself winter break should be? Fun? Relaxing? Peaceful? Should you be more patient, more creative, more engaged, more grateful? Where did these stories come from? Did they come from your parents? Your religion? Social media? Or did you consciously decide this is what makes sense for your specific family? The gap between your expectations and your reality is where all your suffering lives. Winter break, like everything else in life, is going to be 50/50 — moments of connection and moments of chaos. Moments that feel great and moments that feel awful. When you expect it to be all magical and meaningful, you make the tough parts feel like a sign that something’s gone wrong, when really, it’s just life. You can’t always control the circumstances surrounding winter break. The kids are home from school, the routine is different, that’s just what’s happening. But you can control your expectations, especially if you find yourself feeling disappointed a lot of the time.
And listen, you’re not doing anything wrong if you’re counting down the days until school starts again. You’re not a bad mom for not cherishing every moment. You’re a human being with a nervous system that needs certain things to function well, and winter break often disrupts those things. That’s just the truth. So before next week’s episode, notice what stories you’re telling yourself about the upcoming break. Notice what happens in your body when you think about the weeks ahead. Right now, as you’re listening to this, pause and notice where you’re holding tension. Just notice. No fixing yet. Next week in part 2, we’ll talk about what to do with all of this, and I’ll give you specific steps you can take to make the days during winter break feel easier and more manageable. Have a great week and I’ll talk to you then. Bye!
If you enjoy listening to this podcast, and you’re ready to feel calmer, more confident and more at peace in your family and life, I invite you to sign up for a free consultation with me to learn about how my coaching can help you achieve the exact life you want. You’ll take the concepts and tools I share in the podcast and apply them to your own life, and as your coach I’ll be there to support you every step of the way. Go to lessdramamoremama.com/mini and sign up now.
