Accepting Help – 008

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LISTEN TO THE SHOW:

Happy October! In honor of my birthday, I'm opening up extra spots on my calendar for free mini-sessions all throughout the month. Don't miss this opportunity to accept FREE help.

In this episode, I talk about the reasons it can be challenging to accept parenting help, and I explain all the reasons why signing up for a mini-session with me is a smart decision. Will you accept?

HERE’S WHAT YOU’LL DISCOVER:

  • Why many moms find it so difficult to accept help
  • Why talking with a life coach can be more helpful than talking with a friend or family member
  • The benefits of signing up for a free mini-session

LISTEN TO THE SHOW:

Transcript

You are listening to the Less Drama More Mama podcast, episode 008: Accepting Help

This is Less Drama More Mama, the podcast for moms who want to feel calm, in control, and confident about how to handle anything life throws their way. If you’re ready to go from feeling frazzled and disrespected to feeling calm and connected, this is the podcast for you. I’m your host, Pam Howard.

It’s October! Almost my birthday. We’re gonna party like it’s my birthday! Hey, hey, Mama! This is my favorite month, it’s my birthday! You know how some people downplay their birthday and don’t like to bring attention to themselves? Yeah, I am not that person. I love to celebrate making it through another trip around the sun and getting older and wiser and better with age. Also, I love a good dance party.

So, to celebrate this month, and my birthday, I’m opening up extra spots on my calendar for free mini-sessions all throughout the month. That is my gift to you. You don’t want to miss out on this. School is in full swing and the holidays are only a couple of months away. Now is the perfect time for you to take 30 minutes out of your day and set yourself up for success for 2019. The holiday parties and family events and winter break are all around the corner. And if just thinking about that makes you feel stressed out, then we need to talk, girl.

I’m going to be talking about accepting help in this episode and why it can be so hard for moms. I get it. I remember the first time that I admitted I needed help as a mom and went to therapy. It was a bit intimidating! But if you’ve been listening to this podcast and thinking, “maybe I should sign up for one of those free mini-sessions she keeps talking about,” and you just haven’t done it yet, go sign up right now before the spots are gone. Go to lessdramamoremama.com/mini And as you’re listening to this episode, I really want you to think about why you haven’t taken this step, and whether you can relate to any of the reasons why so many moms pass up opportunities for help.

First and foremost, you, like many moms, may be afraid of appearing weak. You may have a belief that you should be able to handle your kids and your responsibilities, and all of your emotions, and do everything on your own. You believe that if you need help, it means there’s something wrong with you. It means you’re a bad mom right?  It means you’re stupid, incompetent, or inadequate. I want to offer to you that those are all just thoughts. What if those thoughts aren’t true? What if it’s not true AT ALL that asking for help means that you’re weak or incompetent or inadequate? What if it’s the exact opposite that’s true? Like, what if you’re not supposed to know how to handle it when your kid has a tantrum or lies to you, or isn’t making friends at school or is struggling with school work, right? What if getting help with how to manage your time better or setting up systems and routines to make things run more smoothly in the mornings or at night doesn’t mean that you’re a bad mom? And what if asking for help makes you a stronger, more confident, more relaxed mom? Then what?

I think there’s a fear among many moms that they don’t want to burden other people. You might think, “Well, my situation’s not that bad. My problems are small. I should be able to take care of them myself and not bother anyone over it.” Or maybe you believe your problems are too big. You think, “One 30 minute mini-session isn’t going to solve my problems. She can’t help me.”

Maybe you have an underlying belief that you’re not deserving or worthy of receiving help. And let me tell you something if that’s you. You are 100% worthy just because you exist in the world. There is nothing you can do to become more worthy, and there’s nothing you’ve ever done that has made you less worthy. That’s a whole other podcast right there, but I will tell you, feeling unworthy and undeserving is so much more common than you might think. And you deserve just as much help as anyone else on the planet.

Maybe you grew up in a family that didn’t really talk about things much or was unsupportive and you had to fend for yourself most of the time. So, asking for help or accepting help feels really scary and uncomfortable or vulnerable. I want you to know that that’s totally normal. I talk to a lot of people who feel scared when they first get on the phone with me. They think, “I don’t know this lady. I don’t want to tell her my innermost thoughts.” Or maybe you’re listening to this, and you do know me and you think, “I don’t want her to know my problems.” It’s ok. I’ve got you. There’s nothing you can tell me that a) I probably haven’t heard before and b) that I’m going to judge you for.

And that’s the beauty of coaching. Unlike talking to a friend or family member who’s very likely to judge you and give you their opinion or commiserate with you, a coach listens objectively, compassionately, and without judgment. My job, as I see it, is to love every person I coach unconditionally, and to show them their thinking and what it’s creating in their lives. That’s it! I’m not there to tell you what you should do or tell you that you’re doing it wrong, but I can help you free yourself from the drama in your mind so you can feel better and see more clearly for yourself what you should do.

Listening to the podcast is awesome because I’m sharing the tools, and the concepts, and strategies that I use in my coaching practice, but the mini-sessions are even more powerful. I’ll talk with you one-on-one and we just talk about you, your unique situation, your challenges, your kids. We’ll talk about what’s not working and you’ll leave the call with at least one strategy or tool or new perspective to help you moving forward.

My mini-sessions are 15-30 minutes long, which may not seem like much, but we accomplish a lot in a very short amount of time. You may be spinning in your mind over something for months and in ten minutes, I can help you see something about your situation differently or ask a question that you’ve never thought to ask yourself and boom! problem solved.

I had a ten minute session with someone two weeks ago who was so stuck in anger and resentment about her commute to work every day. She said it took her ninety minutes to two hours to get to work each day. That’s three to four hours a day on the train. And she felt so much resentment because she wasn’t spending that time with her family. So, I said, “Ok, tell me the facts. How much time do you spend with your family every day?” She said, “Ninety minutes every day when I get home from work.” So I asked her a question. One question! I asked her, “What if ninety minutes is the perfect amount of time to spend with your family every day?” And I thought her head was going to explode. That question and the thought that ninety minutes is the perfect amount of time, offered her so much relief and peace. And she said to me, “Pam Howard.” I think it’s so funny when people address me by my full name. She said, “Pam Howard. That was amazing.” And it was really just a shift in perspective that I was able to see so clearly because I wasn’t inside her head.

So, why is the mini-session free? I know you might be thinking, “There’s a catch here. She’s going to have my info and she’ll be bugging me and sending me emails all the time.” Or, “How good can it really be if it’s free?”

So listen, the reason it’s free is that I believe in the power of coaching. I want you to experience relief. And yes, I want you to consider working with me as your coach and letting me help you get the results you want in your life when it comes to your parenting, or whatever it is that’s holding you back from living the life that you want. I want to give you a taste of what it’s like to work with me so that we can see if we’re a good fit. My goal is for you to leave the call feeling better and knowing whether my coaching is for you or not. That’s it. And I won’t bug you or send you emails unless you’re signed up to my email list. And even then, you can unsubscribe at any time.

So the last reason I think so many moms struggle to accept help is because they doubt themselves and their own ability to make the changes they want to make. Fortunately, building that confidence is one of the main things that I help my clients achieve in their lives. So, let’s rock it out, Mama. Go and grab your free session at lessdramamoremama.com/mini And I can’t wait to talk to you in October. Bye, bye!

Thank you for listening to the Less Drama More Mama podcast. If you liked this episode, please take a moment to write a quick review on iTunes and make sure you subscribe, too, so you never miss a show. Got a question, comment, or idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at pam@lessdramamoremama.com

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Hi, I’m Pam

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Master Parenting Coach, and former K-8 School Counselor, I’m on a mission to empower moms to feel calmer and more connected to their kids.

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