Dear 22 Year Old Me

I was 22 years old.


I remember the exact moment when the idea of motherhood — and assuming the responsibilities that go along with it — hit me all at once.


In the Facebook Live video below, I share what I wish I’d known twenty years ago about parenting and responsibility.


In the comments, let me know what you’d tell 22-year-old YOU about parenting and/or life in general.


I can’t wait to read and learn from your advice!



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Showing 2 comments
  • Colleen

    This is a hard one…I would tell myself not to take my kids behaviour personally. Like you said, I am not responsible for them, I am responsible to them. But what is the follow-up to that? What does that actually look like? Is it a consequence? My children have run around restaurants, but I usually only allow it if we are not in a busy one and they are not being noisy or difficult. I am learning to get out of my own way and theirs too, so that they can figure it out. I hope this makes sense. Parenting is life in progress.

    • Pam Howard

      Hi Colleen! Thank you for your question. Here’s what it looks like: Suppose a child is begging his mom for some candy in the checkout line at Target. She says “no” and he throws a fit. A “responsible for” parent would probably back down and buy the candy because she didn’t want people to judge her or she felt guilty that her child became upset. A “responsible to” parent would simply empathize with her child about how much he wanted the candy. She understands that ultimately she’s being responsible TO her child for keeping him away from junk food and sticking to her limits.

      Does that make sense?

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