You are listening to the Less Drama More Mama podcast, episode 372: How the Jewish New Year Can Inspire Your Parenting Growth
This is Less Drama More Mama, the podcast for moms who want to feel calm, in control, and confident about how to handle anything life throws their way. If you’re ready to go from feeling frazzled and disrespected to feeling calm and connected, this is the podcast for you. I’m your host, Pam Howard.
Hi Mama! Welcome back to the show. If you’re new here, welcome! I’m so happy you found this episode. The day this episode airs, I’ll be celebrating Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year. And whether you celebrate or not, I want to bring you into the spirit of this holiday because its themes are incredibly powerful for parenting, and they offer us a roadmap for creating the kind of family life we truly want. Rosh Hashana literally means “head of the year,” but it’s so much more than marking another year on the calendar. It’s about reflection, renewal, and setting intentions. And the timing couldn’t be more perfect for parents because kids are back in school, fall routines are taking shape, and it feels like a natural time to reset. Now, you might be thinking, “Pam, I already do all my intention-setting in January at the regular New Year. Why would I revisit this stuff again now, just three months before then?” The way I see it, January can sometimes feel forced and artificial. It’s the dead of winter, the holidays just ended, everyone’s tired, and there’s this societal pressure to “do more” or “be better.” September-October, on the other hand, has a natural rhythm to it. There’s something about the changing leaves, the back-to-school energy, the way the light shifts. It all feels like naturally turning the page. And that makes it the perfect time to step back, reset, and ask yourself: How do I want to grow in my parenting this year? When we don’t pause and reflect, it’s so easy to get swept up in the day-to-day grind of packing lunches, driving carpools, managing schedules, and refereeing arguments. Before we know it, we’ve fallen into habits we don’t love, like snapping at our kids when we’re stressed, scrolling on our phones instead of connecting, and avoiding those tough conversations we know we need to have. Without an intentional pause, those patterns keep repeating. We become reactive instead of responsive. We parent from a place of survival rather than intention. And our kids see us as the frazzled, impatient mom we become under pressure, rather than the calm, connected parent we want to be.
The Jewish New Year tradition offers us profound wisdom about this process of renewal. In Hebrew, there’s a concept called teshuvah, which is often translated as “repentance,” but it literally means “return.” It’s about returning to who you’re meant to be, and consciously choosing to come back to your values and intentions, without beating yourself up for your mistakes. This is so relevant for parenting. How many times have you snapped at your kids and then spent the rest of the day drowning in guilt? Teshuvah teaches us that instead of staying stuck in that guilt, we can acknowledge what happened, learn from it, and return to the parent we want to be. We can repair with our children and start fresh. There’s also a tradition during this season called cheshbon hanefesh—literally “an accounting of the soul.” It’s a practice of honest self-reflection, looking at both what went well and what didn’t serve you over the past year. And something else I love is that in the Jewish tradition, this season is about harvesting—gathering the fruit of what has grown over the past year, celebrating the wins, and acknowledging growth. It’s a time to take stock of what you’ve cultivated. For parents, this harvest mentality can also inspire us to look ahead and consider what we want to cultivate in the coming year.
I want to walk you through a simple, but deep exercise that can transform how you approach your parenting. You’ll need a piece of paper and about twenty minutes of quiet reflection time. You’re gonna create three columns on your page and label them Harvest, Let Go, and Plant. In the Harvest column, write down everything that grew well in your parenting over the past year that you want to carry forward. For example, maybe reading with your kids at bedtime is something you and they both cherish because it brings you closer at the end of the day. Or maybe you’ve been taking three deep breaths before responding when your child has a meltdown and you’ve noticed that you feel so much more in control when you remember to do that. Or maybe you finally stopped nagging about homework and let your child experience the natural consequences of his actions. You could write: “I stopped trying to fix my teenager’s problems and started just listening.” Or, “I began saying ‘let me think about that’ instead of immediately saying no to requests.” These might seem like small things, but they make a huge difference. Don’t skip over this column. As moms, we have a tendency to focus on everything we’re doing wrong. We notice every moment we lose our patience, every time we feel disconnected, every parenting “failure.” But what you focus on grows, so when you harvest these wins, you’re more likely to keep doing them. Take your time with this column. Really think back through the year. What moments made you feel proud of the parent you were being? What did you do that your kids responded well to? What felt good to you?
In the Let Go column, you’re gonna write down the patterns or behaviors you don’t want to carry with you into the new year. Maybe it’s the guilt you carry when you work late. Or the micromanaging you do around your child’s social situations. Maybe it’s the way you automatically say, “be careful” instead of encouraging your child to take reasonable risks. Or it’s constantly checking your phone during family time. Letting go doesn’t mean these patterns will magically disappear overnight, but that you’re making a conscious choice to notice when they happen and then redirect yourself back to how you want to respond instead.
Then, finally, in the Plant column, write down the qualities or values you want to grow this year, along with small, concrete actions you’ll take to nurture that growth. This is where you might get overwhelmed. So, the key here is to think like a gardener who plants one seed at a time, not like someone trying to transform an entire landscape overnight. Ok? Let me give you some examples. If you want to plant patience, don’t just write “be more patient.” Instead, write, “I want to be more patient during morning routines.” So, your small action could be setting your alarm fifteen minutes earlier so you’re not rushing around in the morning. Or when you feel your patience running thin, you’ll say “I need a 30-second pause” and count to 30 before responding. If you want to plant playfulness, instead of “be more fun,” write, “I want to bring more joy and spontaneity into our daily lives.” Your action might be: every Tuesday after school, instead of immediately asking about homework, you’ll ask, “What’s one thing that made you smile today?” and then share something that made you smile. Or once a week, let your child choose what you’ll have for dinner, even if it’s pancakes and whipped cream.
If you have a partner, this process becomes even more powerful when you do it together. You can approach it by setting aside time when you can both focus. Start by sharing your individual lists, and resist the urge to debate or correct each other. Instead, look for themes and areas where your intentions align. You might discover that you both want to plant more patience, but in different areas. Maybe one of you struggles with morning routines while the other struggles with bedtime. You can support each other by taking the lead in your stronger areas. And be honest about patterns you both want to let go of. Maybe you both check your phones too much during family time, or you both tend to hover instead of letting your kids work through problems independently.
Of course, whether you do this on your own or with a partner, it won’t be perfect. There are going to be days when the list you made feels really far away from how you actually show up. And that’s part of the process. The concept of teshuvah teaches us that the path back to our intentions is always available. When you notice you’ve slipped into an old pattern, you have a choice. You can spiral into guilt and self-criticism, or you can simply return to your intention. Instead of thinking, “I’m terrible at this, I’ll never change,” try, “I notice I just reacted from stress instead of responding from intention. I can repair this moment and start fresh.” Then actually repair it. Go to your child and say something like, “I just spoke to you in a way that didn’t feel good for either of us. I was feeling stressed about time, but that’s not your fault. Let me try again.” Then take a deep breath and respond the way you actually want to respond. Your children need to see that you make mistakes, and that you take responsibility for those mistakes. This is one of the most powerful things you can model.
Change doesn’t happen overnight. Like seeds, new habits take time to take root and grow. Some changes will show up quickly; others will take months before they feel natural. Old patterns and stressful days will still show up. Think of them as weeds in your garden—normal, expected, and part of the work. What matters is that you notice, reset, and keep going.
So as we wrap up, I want to leave you with those three powerful questions to ponder: 1) What am I harvesting? What grew well in my parenting this past year? What do I want to celebrate and carry forward? 2) What do I want to let go of? What patterns or habits aren’t serving my family anymore? What weeds can I clear from my parenting garden? And 3) What do I want to plant? What qualities do I want to cultivate in my parenting this year? What small, concrete actions will I take to nurture this growth? Don’t just think about your answers—actually write them down. Put them where you’ll see them regularly like your bathroom mirror, or your phone screensaver. And if you want help following through and staying committed to your goals, I’d love to talk with you. Inside my Damn Good Mama program, I walk moms through this exact process: noticing what’s been growing in their parenting, clearing out what no longer serves them, and planting the seeds of connection, confidence, and calm that they want to see flourish in their families. You don’t have to figure out how to do it all by yourself. I’ll help you identify the patterns keeping you stuck, and give you practical, real-life strategies to make lasting change. If you’re ready for that kind of transformation, book a free, 30-minute call with me. We’ll talk about what’s been hard, what you want instead, and how I can help you get there. Go to lessdramamoremama.com/chat
On Rosh Hashana, there’s another tradition of blowing the shofar, a ram’s horn. Its sharp sound is meant to wake people up and call them back to what matters most. As moms, we need those wake-up calls too. So, when you catch yourself slipping into old patterns, treat it like your own shofar moment: a signal to pause, reflect, and return to the parent you want to be.
Whether you celebrate Rosh Hashana or not, consider this your invitation to pause and reflect—to notice what’s working, to be honest about what’s not, and to move forward with intention. I’m cheering you on as you take those steps, because you’re doing more for your kids and yourself than you probably realize. Thank you so much for listening today, and I’ll talk to you again soon. Bye.
If you enjoy listening to this podcast, and you’re ready to feel calmer, more confident and more at peace in your family and life, I invite you to sign up for a free consultation with me to learn about how my coaching can help you achieve the exact life you want. You’ll take the concepts and tools I share in the podcast and apply them to your own life, and as your coach I’ll be there to support you every step of the way. Go to lessdramamoremama.com/mini and sign up now.
