The Problem with Praise – 067


No one loves your kids as much as you do.


And you want to shout from the rooftops how special and amazing they are.


You want them to feel good about themselves and proud of their accomplishments.


But too much praise can actually cause problems you might not have considered.


Tune in to today’s episode to better understand the problems with praise and how to avoid them.




  • The not-so-obvious ways in which praise can backfire.
  • The difference between praising ability and praising effort, which one is better, and why.
  • The relationship between praise and a growth mindset.
  • How to offer positive feedback in ways that strengthen intrinsic motivation.





Showing 2 comments
  • Jen

    I have been listening to the podcast for a few weeks now and making my way through from the start. I have 4 yr old and 18 month twins – all boys!
    I have strived to be a gentle parent and not shout – but up until now failed! Since listening to the podcast I can notice changes in myself and also changes in my 4 yr olds behaviour. He listens better and I think he feels a lot happier now we discuss more and shout less.
    Today – he made a fab Lego house all by himself. Usually I would say ‘wow good job!’ Which he never really replies to. But today I said – wow’ I can see you have worked so hard at making that house. Look at all the colours!’ To which he replied, ‘it’s my rainbow house and I am a builder. You can be my builder mate! You can help me if you like’ and we sat there and made the house even bigger together.
    I have suffered with sever anxiety since having the twins as my twin 2 has been in and out of hospital. I am starting to feel calmer and catch myself before I explode into an anxious, reactive shouty mess! And for that I thank you! Thanks for making all this great information into a podcast which is so easy to listen to

    • Pam Howard

      Hi Jen,
      I love that Lego house story so much. Your boys are lucky to have a mom who is willing to do this work. Thank you so much for leaving a comment. xoxo

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